that thing when

That thing when you see her name in some random place, like the sidebar in facebook, and your hands suddenly have an erotic ache in the centre and the very centre of your chest gets tight.

That thing when she writes you a compliment, and you feel deeply seen and happy and just unbelieving at the wonder of it. And have no idea what to say.

That thing when you look at her across a table and find yourself fascinated with the way she’s applied mineral dust to her eyelids and it feels really shallow to tell her how beautiful you find her.

That thing when you try to tell yourself not to count the days till you will see her next, because that’s a bit much, don’t you think? And yet you find yourself doing it anyhow.

That thing where getting even a mundane text from her makes you wet. Where your breasts still ache from where she kissed them, as if she’d set off a chain reaction of hormones in your body, starting from there.

That thing where you are doing a totally normal thing, working or something, and she comes to mind briefly and you suddenly breath out rapidly through your nose, like a horse, to let go of the sudden surge of unknown energy. And then your hands ache again.